Published: January 22, 2008 02:08 am      

Daily productivity loss

Recently, I was forced to change Internet service providers. Reasons for the change do not affect this harangue. For an exercise in futility, read on.

Really, you have gone through this same thing. This experience was the worst suffered by me although TC has reported delayed times of an hour and a half or more.

I called a prospective new provider and told them what I thought I needed. After hearing prices, speeds, and delivery times, I said we would go for it. That was Saturday.

Stay with me, guys, as this was confusing. We received a call saying something about an impossible delivery address. After unsuccessful attempts to explain, we agreed to call back.

The United States Postal Service (USPS) has not, does not, and will not provide household, route delivery, or packages inside Elkins Lake. I am more than certain Huntsville proper gets first class and better treatment.

Our substitute for a post office includes ghastly parking and traffic situations that cost residents time, gasoline, and foul tempers. Window services have been extremely limited and open for perhaps three hours a day.

Stamps are available (cash only — no credit) but most other products and services are only available at the real post offices (a few miles away). Incoming mail is generally made available by 1:30 p.m., although times of 3:30 or 4 p.m. are not uncommon.

I apologize to readers for the post office diatribe. That and quite a few more words had been set aside for a later column. That column will appear in a few weeks.

My first attempt to reach the ISP through their phone service began at 11: 22 a.m. on Jan. 7. The final call with all appropriate references was completed about 11:5 p.m. that same day.

For the record, patience is not one of my virtues. My statement represents a straightforward opinion with no qualifiers to ease the pain.

It must have taken about 10 to 15 separate and distinct calls to break through their impenetrable barrier. What an exercise in futility and a farce for customer service!

If their Internet service follows this same pattern of musical merry-go-rounds, I will not last two months as a customer.

Nothing would be proven by listing every phone call. Suffice me to say that I talked to someone in India who placed me on hold, transferred the call back to the USA who finally answered and then re-transferred to another office in India. When I got still another busy signal, I said piffle and a few more unkind words.

I gave the phone company my telephone number at least twice during every call. I gave the last digits of my SSN. My mother’s maiden name is all over their network now. A few times, I managed to reach a human being.

My story is simple due to vagaries of the USPS. I have a mailing address because USPS has refused, and continues to refuse, to deliver U.S. mail inside the confines of Elkins Lake.

I have a physical address because that is where I live. For the record, Fed-EX, UPS, and DHL have never had any problem making deliveries even when the mailing address is on the label. Makes you wonder about efficiencies.

My story was told so many times I thought of taping it and just hitting the play button. (The provider does it with their admonition that “this call may be taped for training, etc.”).

I explained my order and delivery instructions to at least seven departments before the eighth finally said they understood. It is beyond my comprehension how so many voices can say the right thing and then shift customers to another wrong department.

All the time I spent on hold was spent listening to various spiels for more services, new products, and so on ad infinitum. Talk about captive audiences. I think the commercials were interrupted by another tape saying please continue to hold.

I went through seven cycles of the same idiotic rap music reputed to be bland enough for older customers. When they hesitated, I said my area code, my phone number, and four digits of SSN. Sort of an automatic reflex.

Finally, a final call provided a definitive answer and response to my 1 hour 45 minutes of lost productivity. Some sweet young thing read all the confirmation numbers and asked me to confirm those. By then I would have confirmed almost anything.

She said something to the effect there was no real delivery problem. Since the order was placed on the weekend, promised delivery of the devices and manuals, etc., would be delayed by one day. I was advised everything would be one day later than promised.

No wonder, we cannot compete in world markets. We have been placed on hold listening to commercials.





Grady Easley is retired from gainful employment. Contact him at 219 Elkins Lake, Huntsville, Texas 77340