Published: September 20, 2009 12:45 am      

Weapons of mental destruction

The weapons of mental destruction are the 14 golf clubs in your golf bag.

The driver is the fun club. It gives you the feeling of power and adventure. You will probably travel where man has not traveled before and at the end, minus five or six balls, you will be able to brag about that 325-yard drive you hit.

The irons, three through nine, are to be used when you are within striking distance of the green. For the average player each club is supposed to represent a 10 yard difference, plus or minus a couple.

For example, a five iron should travel 10 yards further than a six, and 10 yards less than a four. You will notice that the ball does not always go where intended with any on of these clubs, while many devious perils are strategically placed to catch these shots.

Irons are also used in helping you get out of the trouble one of the other clubs has put you in. They also are handy in the case of snakes.

The putter, of course, is an evil instrument and will not be discussed here.

The wedge shot, next to the long drives, is probably the most interesting of them all. It can be used to make the ball spin back, to the right, to the left, stop dead or roll.

The wedge, in the hand of the expert, can save many strokes. The wedge, in the hand of the average golfer, can make their scores rival the national debt.

A majority of golfers watch the Golf Channel and absorb all of the lessons shown. When they get on the first tee they will produce a reasonable facsimile of a golf swing. But when the moment of truth arrives and the ball is placed before them, they will look as if they were beating a chicken to death.

Using a wedge properly is not just a matter of mechanics, but requires the touch of a brain surgeon. It is a matter of feel, and can only be achieved by countless hours of practice, which most people cannot fathom.

I once knew a middle-aged gentleman who had two golf holes built on his land. He practiced constantly around these greens. He won the club championship four straight years, through his ability to get the ball in the hole from around the green.

His theory was to use a club that would give you just enough loft to get your ball on the putting surface, and let it roll. The easier you hit the ball the more control you have.

With a club with too much loft, you have to hit the ball harder, and are never sure of the results. You will hit one fat, maybe the next one thin, which will cause it to go tearing across the green. The above mentioned gentleman would use primarily the same stroke with these clubs, as he would with a putter.

The purpose of the game is to have a low score, and not just hitting an occasional spectacular shot. If you are not going to practice your short game, put your wedges in the closet, unless you need them for snakes.